IT emerged last night that a cyclist had fallen off his bike in Lancashire. The shocking incident, following the death just the previous day of a hedgehog on the A666 in Bolton, has led to further calls for cyclists to be the only people allowed to use Britain’s roads.
The cyclist who fell off his bike, who has been named locally as “Jiggo”, a paper delivery operative, was luckily wearing a helmet but unfortunately also had a pair of those ridiculous lycra cycling shorts on, which looked comical as he lay with his legs in the air. The horrifying bike fall closed the B5687, just outside Chorley, for 10 minutes before police were able to stop laughing and get the bicycle and Jiggo onto the grass verge. Jiggo told cops: “This could ruin all I’ve worked towards this year. “I’m supposed to be at a party in Barnoldswick tonight as a Paul Weller lookalike. What am I supposed to do now? “I can’t turn up bent double and unable to walk.
They want Paul Weller – not Ian Dury.” In other news, a chip pan left on the hob for eight hours mysteriously set fire to a kitchen in Dunstable, Kent. Fire investigation officers say they have no idea how the blaze started.