THE FA has promised an urgent investigation after it emerged Aston Villa scored TWICE on New Year’s Day.
At first, reports that both Andreas Weimann and Christian Benteke had mysteriously found the net were denied by the FA, who said in a statement: “You’re having a f***ing laugh.” But later they were forced to backtrack and told reporters: “On January 1, 2013, we received reports that two players currently registered with Aston Villa FC in the English Premier League had each scored a goal in separate incidents during a match at Swansea City. “
At first, we refused to believe the outlandish claims, but having reviewed the evidence presented to us – and given that Aston Villa still didn’t manage to win – we have been forced to accept that these unlikely incidents may well have occurred. “We are launching an official inquiry to get to the bottom of how these players could have acted in such a way and we trust that until the findings of this inquiry are finalised Aston Villa will take all steps to ensure that no further incidents of this nature take place.”